Having finally thought through what I personally enjoy about the roleplaying experience, it leads me to an odd place where I don't seem to quite fit in the established categories. So I'll walk through my thought process and see if anyone can make any constructive suggestions.
The traditional roleplaying experience includes the roles of player and GM, with the GM having most of the control, preparing the situation in advance and presumably having a thorough understanding of the rules. The players react to the situation presented to them within the rules of the game system. D&D still works that way, and GURPS as written works that way, as do many others.
Indie games are more story-oriented, and often distribute the traditional narrative powers of the GM. Some of them dispense with the GM altogether, relying on rules to keep the situation under some kind of control rather than any judgement on the part of a single individual. Players often share narrative privilege and the group as a whole ultimately decides the direction of the story.
To date, I've usually applied the traditional model, bent hard toward story rather than combat, and I often bend or even completely ignore rules if I think it makes the story more entertaining. This sometimes irritates the heck out of the more rules-oriented players, and I can't say that they're unjustified in reacting that way. Indie games sometimes annoy me because they're set up in such a way that the rules matter so much that nobody has the power to bend those rules when it's not creating a good story. Granted, the rules are usually very well written and tend to result in a good story, but I've also played in many indie games where I found myself handcuffed by those rules, unable to take the story in a more satisfying direction.
Thinking this through, what it boils down to is that I have to admit that I really don't want any more rules than absolutely necessary, which is where Fluid came from. The traditional model tends to draw players who like long and detailed fight scenes, which bore the crap out of me. Indie games tend to draw more story-oriented players, but those players also have expectations that rules will be followed as written and that they will have far more control over story direction than in the traditional model.
At the end of the day, what I really want is serious player input on where they want to go, but ultimate authorial control over the big picture, which is somewhere in between the two models. I know that ultimate authorial control is selfish, but I often find collective storytelling too lacking in cohesiveness to be really satisfying. A benevolent dictatorship seems more functional than a crowd milling around almost at random. As in music or movies, you tend to get the best creative result when there is an overall vision guiding good creative input from others. The rules are supposed to give you that cohesiveness in indie games, but I'm finding that often isn't the case.
The problem is that the middle ground I occupy seems to be going away at game conventions. The community seems to be polarizing. Traditional players and indie players both don't entirely want what I want, and it's becoming harder for me to draw players. I've moved toward the indie camp, but get the sense that what I do isn't satisfying to them because there's too much GM control, and I fully understand why.
Writing fiction might be a better option for me creatively, but that lacks the performance aspect, interactivity, and immediate feedback that I find so appealing in roleplaying. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
DexCon - Spiritual Bits & Pieces
Most people who know me know that I dislike long drives. If I'm driving for more than an hour, I really want to or have to be there, and I'm not very happy when I arrive. The trip to DexCon is about two hours travel time for me, so you know I really want to go. I tried something a bit different this time and made a very conscious effort to physically relax as much as possible for the entire trip, even down to my grip on the steering wheel, and I felt a lot better than usual when I arrived at DexCon this time. This is something to keep in mind for future travel.
This was my first trip away from home since I've been practicing yoga daily, so I had to change my morning routine from previous trips. I had to give myself more time to get ready, giving up precious sleep, but it did give me a noticable lift before running the Sunday morning game, so I will continue to do this on future trips.
Getting away from home is a real challenge for my spiritual practice. It's relatively easy to maintain spiritual balance at home, where I have much more control over my environment. It's very different to try to maintain that balance during the excitement of a convention, in a place I only visit once a year and in the company of a friends I see only occasionally and many people I've never met before. The number of social interactions is high and the nature of those interactions can be intense because of the enthusiasm everybody has for the hobby. Whether things go well or go badly, it's easy to fall into bad old habits and let my ego get in the way, and I find it happens too often. I'd been trying to think of some reminder I could use to bring myself back to a mindful and undistracted state. I'd read that some spiritual retreats have a bell that is rung periodically, the purpose of which is to make everyone there stop what they're doing and center themselves again, and I was trying to come up with something that could serve that same purpose for me on a trip, but couldn't come up with anything workable. The best idea I had was to use the realization itself as the reminder. It's a matter of becoming aware of the loss of focus and correcting it when that happens. With practice, the focus is likely to be lost less frequently.
The way my games went at this convention has me thinking again about why and how I participate in roleplaying games. The details of working out a roleplaying philosophy are more appropriate for a separate blog entry, but the immediate point is that I find myself questioning why I do this at all. The short answer is that I enjoy creating a story, playing the non-player characters, and entertaining the players. For me, the rules are only important to the degree that they assist in allowing the players to create a good story with me. Writing prose would scratch the story itch, but not the performance itch, which I find is definitely a significant element for me. Playing music scratches the performance itch, but not the story itch, because you can only put so much story into a song. Is all of this just about my ego, trying to show off how clever I can be in terms of crafting an interesting story and presenting intriguing characters, or is it something more genuine?
I did a fair amount of writing well before I had any audience for it, locking it away in drawers because I wasn't sure anyone else would think it was good, so I can be sure that's truly part of me. The spontaniety of a roleplaying performance is also very exciting to me. I can prepare material for a roleplaying game, giving me a large measure of control over the story, but the players have plenty of room to utterly surprise me with their interpretations of the characters and the choices they make. In a convention game, I get to choose what sort of story I want to see and what characters will be involved, while the players make the choices for the characters and decide what the conclusion of the story will be. This mix is why I prefer being a GM to being a player. Others have pointed out that roleplaying games have the unique property that the performers and the audience are the same people, which probably narrows the number of people to which it has appeal.
Having an audience is certainly encouraging me to continue with this form instead of, say, writing and performing plays or short films on a local scale. Writing RPGs is also a lot easier than putting together something like that, and my favored choice of subject matter is usually more appropriate to a roleplaying game than a play or small scale film.
If I had a larger ego I might be more ambitious and want a bigger audience, so I don't think this is about ego at the core. It's about coming up with characters and stories that interest me (and hopefully others) rather than being about getting compliments from others. I enjoy compliments when I get them, and I have to admit that my ego has gotten pumped up at times when I've gotten a lot of positive response in a short time, but I'm consciously working against that sort of thing happening now and can honestly say it's not the reason I do this.
This was my first trip away from home since I've been practicing yoga daily, so I had to change my morning routine from previous trips. I had to give myself more time to get ready, giving up precious sleep, but it did give me a noticable lift before running the Sunday morning game, so I will continue to do this on future trips.
Getting away from home is a real challenge for my spiritual practice. It's relatively easy to maintain spiritual balance at home, where I have much more control over my environment. It's very different to try to maintain that balance during the excitement of a convention, in a place I only visit once a year and in the company of a friends I see only occasionally and many people I've never met before. The number of social interactions is high and the nature of those interactions can be intense because of the enthusiasm everybody has for the hobby. Whether things go well or go badly, it's easy to fall into bad old habits and let my ego get in the way, and I find it happens too often. I'd been trying to think of some reminder I could use to bring myself back to a mindful and undistracted state. I'd read that some spiritual retreats have a bell that is rung periodically, the purpose of which is to make everyone there stop what they're doing and center themselves again, and I was trying to come up with something that could serve that same purpose for me on a trip, but couldn't come up with anything workable. The best idea I had was to use the realization itself as the reminder. It's a matter of becoming aware of the loss of focus and correcting it when that happens. With practice, the focus is likely to be lost less frequently.
The way my games went at this convention has me thinking again about why and how I participate in roleplaying games. The details of working out a roleplaying philosophy are more appropriate for a separate blog entry, but the immediate point is that I find myself questioning why I do this at all. The short answer is that I enjoy creating a story, playing the non-player characters, and entertaining the players. For me, the rules are only important to the degree that they assist in allowing the players to create a good story with me. Writing prose would scratch the story itch, but not the performance itch, which I find is definitely a significant element for me. Playing music scratches the performance itch, but not the story itch, because you can only put so much story into a song. Is all of this just about my ego, trying to show off how clever I can be in terms of crafting an interesting story and presenting intriguing characters, or is it something more genuine?
I did a fair amount of writing well before I had any audience for it, locking it away in drawers because I wasn't sure anyone else would think it was good, so I can be sure that's truly part of me. The spontaniety of a roleplaying performance is also very exciting to me. I can prepare material for a roleplaying game, giving me a large measure of control over the story, but the players have plenty of room to utterly surprise me with their interpretations of the characters and the choices they make. In a convention game, I get to choose what sort of story I want to see and what characters will be involved, while the players make the choices for the characters and decide what the conclusion of the story will be. This mix is why I prefer being a GM to being a player. Others have pointed out that roleplaying games have the unique property that the performers and the audience are the same people, which probably narrows the number of people to which it has appeal.
Having an audience is certainly encouraging me to continue with this form instead of, say, writing and performing plays or short films on a local scale. Writing RPGs is also a lot easier than putting together something like that, and my favored choice of subject matter is usually more appropriate to a roleplaying game than a play or small scale film.
If I had a larger ego I might be more ambitious and want a bigger audience, so I don't think this is about ego at the core. It's about coming up with characters and stories that interest me (and hopefully others) rather than being about getting compliments from others. I enjoy compliments when I get them, and I have to admit that my ego has gotten pumped up at times when I've gotten a lot of positive response in a short time, but I'm consciously working against that sort of thing happening now and can honestly say it's not the reason I do this.
Possible ID10T Error
I might have given my e-mail address as .com rather than .net when I had given it to someone at DexCon. Fortunately, that particular person was also present when I was giving the URL for this blog to someone else. So if I did make that mistake, and you happen to be that person and check the blog, please make the change, and I apologize.
Monday, July 21, 2008
DexCon 2008 - The Games Themselves
DexCon left me with quite a bit to think about, which I'll go into later, but for now, here's how the games went.
I was very pleased to find out that I was going to have the same table in the RPG room for all four of my events. I was even more pleased to find out that it was the location I think of as the second best in the room. To be more specific, the non-RPGA roleplaying is all located in one big room, but there are two alcoves that are isolated from the rest of the room while still being connected to it. Being in one of those means that you don't have as much sonic competition as the other events, which is far more conducive to good roleplaying, and I had one of the alcoves to myself for the weekend. Very cool.
The other pleasant surprise was that my events were booked nearly solid, some of them with a couple of alternative players hoping to get in. I hadn't been drawing players as well as I used to for the last couple of DexCons, and I'd been worried that economic circumstances might keep a lot of players away (possibly making that problem even worse), but my concerns were entirely unfounded, at least for my own events. I offered more horror this year, which might have helped, or maybe my event descriptions were just more appealing than last year.
My first event was on Saturday afternoon, running my new scenario "Fear Itself" for In Nomine. I had been quite concerned about this one because I've been slipping on getting playtesting done lately, and this would be the first time I'd run this scenario for anyone. I had a full house of players, all of whom took to their pregenerated characters as though they'd written them themselves. I have to give the players credit for handling the characters so well, but I'll also be immodest enough to give myself credit for giving them good material to start with, if I do say so myself. The players did a lot of roleplaying in the beginning, resulting in the opening scene being much longer than intended, but I wasn't about to stop them while they were having a good time. I have to give them credit also for creative solutions to a problem that I'd expected them to solve simply by running away from it. Then I introduced the core problem of the story, and they started working on it, eventually finding their own way to a satisfactory end that I wasn't sure was actually there until we played this session.
One of the surprises for me was that I'd prepared a lot of scary stuff that I ultimately barely used. I'd done a fair amount of research on the commmon elements of nightmares, which I expected to use in a big way, and I think I only used one or two bits of it here. No matter, as I'm sure I'll use it later, in other scenarios if not future sessions of this one.
Several of the players asked me afterward where they might be able to find a copy of In Nomine, which is a Good Thing as far as I'm concerned, but I had to admit to them that SJG is producing new In Nomine material solely in PDF form these days.
My Saturday night session was running "A Dance of Pairs" for Sorcerer. I had seven people show up for six slots and had to turn someone away, but one of the players decided that his character didn't work for him and left, allowing the displaced player to return and play. I talked to the player who'd left later and established that there were no bad personal feelings between us; we just agreed to consider it creative differences and we'll leave it at that.
Again, there was a lot of strong roleplaying. I have to give particular credit to Kevin Meares here for his best performance ever in any of my games, and to his partner Lisa for matching it. There were some other good performances, too, but those two really stood out.
I'd run this scenario for PoliCon, and made some changes based on that session. The problem had been that one of the sorcerer/demon relationships was entirely too functional (the one Kevin and Lisa were playing), and while the changes did make things harder on them, they still got along a little too well. Several people brainstormed that issue with me after the session, and now I have some new ideas for further changes for next time. The other problem was that the third pair that hadn't been played at PoliCon turned out not to be as interesting as I'd hoped. Again, those same brainstorming processes left me with new ideas as to how to fix that, so I have some work to do on this Dance before MEPACon.
Sunday morning was my first Don't Rest Your Head convention session ("The Clock Strikes Thirteen"), and I have to admit that again, I didn't do my usual advance playtesting. Unfortunately, it really showed this time. The scenario was intended from the beginning to be an introduction for players unfamiliar with the system/setting, and it worked well enough on that level, but didn't have enough action. The four players were all experienced indie gamers and very direct about what was working for them and what wasn't, which I appreciated, though I was a little embarrassed. We took a break in the middle while I contemplated how I might add some zing and bring about a reasonably satisfying ending. I did add a few things, but have to admit that what ultimately happened is that the players took the initiative and particularly stepped up in the second half, doing some very cool things that resulted in an extremely satisfying ending, for two of the characters in a sort of "Gift of the Magi" way. By way of self-critique, my GMing didn't flat out stink and the players left feeling entertained, which is the whole point, but it wasn't my best performance (largely due to inadequate preparation) and I'm painfully aware of it.
I think all I really need to do to make this one work is to add a more action-oriented goal for the players once they reach the Mad City, and that should be enough for this particular scenario, but if I run DRYH again I'll definitely need to work out something more thematically functional from the start. I bought a copy of the supplement, "Don't Lose Your Mind", so it's likely that I will eventually do another one.
As usual, I ran one of the closing events of the con, bringing back "A Slice of Blackwoods" for GURPS. I had a full house and more on paper, but only had three players at the table, one of whom hadn't been among the registered. Such is the last slot on a Sunday.A small group like this usually means less roleplay and more cohesive action, since the group doesn't need as much discussion before deciding what to do, and since they had an effective leader, they were even more so. The short version is that they accomplished most of the goals of the scenario while losing one party member, and all involved seemed genuinely enthusiastic about the session.
I'm not really sure what the overall attendance was relative to prior years. It seemed to me as though it might have been down a bit, but I freely admit that I was voluntarily confined to an alcove for most of the convention and didn't see much beyond the RPG room. On a more positive note, I had a number of new faces in my games along with the familiar faces, which is a Very Good Thing. I personally had a great time, certainly better than the last year or two. I'll have more on the non-game aspects in further entries.
I was very pleased to find out that I was going to have the same table in the RPG room for all four of my events. I was even more pleased to find out that it was the location I think of as the second best in the room. To be more specific, the non-RPGA roleplaying is all located in one big room, but there are two alcoves that are isolated from the rest of the room while still being connected to it. Being in one of those means that you don't have as much sonic competition as the other events, which is far more conducive to good roleplaying, and I had one of the alcoves to myself for the weekend. Very cool.
The other pleasant surprise was that my events were booked nearly solid, some of them with a couple of alternative players hoping to get in. I hadn't been drawing players as well as I used to for the last couple of DexCons, and I'd been worried that economic circumstances might keep a lot of players away (possibly making that problem even worse), but my concerns were entirely unfounded, at least for my own events. I offered more horror this year, which might have helped, or maybe my event descriptions were just more appealing than last year.
My first event was on Saturday afternoon, running my new scenario "Fear Itself" for In Nomine. I had been quite concerned about this one because I've been slipping on getting playtesting done lately, and this would be the first time I'd run this scenario for anyone. I had a full house of players, all of whom took to their pregenerated characters as though they'd written them themselves. I have to give the players credit for handling the characters so well, but I'll also be immodest enough to give myself credit for giving them good material to start with, if I do say so myself. The players did a lot of roleplaying in the beginning, resulting in the opening scene being much longer than intended, but I wasn't about to stop them while they were having a good time. I have to give them credit also for creative solutions to a problem that I'd expected them to solve simply by running away from it. Then I introduced the core problem of the story, and they started working on it, eventually finding their own way to a satisfactory end that I wasn't sure was actually there until we played this session.
One of the surprises for me was that I'd prepared a lot of scary stuff that I ultimately barely used. I'd done a fair amount of research on the commmon elements of nightmares, which I expected to use in a big way, and I think I only used one or two bits of it here. No matter, as I'm sure I'll use it later, in other scenarios if not future sessions of this one.
Several of the players asked me afterward where they might be able to find a copy of In Nomine, which is a Good Thing as far as I'm concerned, but I had to admit to them that SJG is producing new In Nomine material solely in PDF form these days.
My Saturday night session was running "A Dance of Pairs" for Sorcerer. I had seven people show up for six slots and had to turn someone away, but one of the players decided that his character didn't work for him and left, allowing the displaced player to return and play. I talked to the player who'd left later and established that there were no bad personal feelings between us; we just agreed to consider it creative differences and we'll leave it at that.
Again, there was a lot of strong roleplaying. I have to give particular credit to Kevin Meares here for his best performance ever in any of my games, and to his partner Lisa for matching it. There were some other good performances, too, but those two really stood out.
I'd run this scenario for PoliCon, and made some changes based on that session. The problem had been that one of the sorcerer/demon relationships was entirely too functional (the one Kevin and Lisa were playing), and while the changes did make things harder on them, they still got along a little too well. Several people brainstormed that issue with me after the session, and now I have some new ideas for further changes for next time. The other problem was that the third pair that hadn't been played at PoliCon turned out not to be as interesting as I'd hoped. Again, those same brainstorming processes left me with new ideas as to how to fix that, so I have some work to do on this Dance before MEPACon.
Sunday morning was my first Don't Rest Your Head convention session ("The Clock Strikes Thirteen"), and I have to admit that again, I didn't do my usual advance playtesting. Unfortunately, it really showed this time. The scenario was intended from the beginning to be an introduction for players unfamiliar with the system/setting, and it worked well enough on that level, but didn't have enough action. The four players were all experienced indie gamers and very direct about what was working for them and what wasn't, which I appreciated, though I was a little embarrassed. We took a break in the middle while I contemplated how I might add some zing and bring about a reasonably satisfying ending. I did add a few things, but have to admit that what ultimately happened is that the players took the initiative and particularly stepped up in the second half, doing some very cool things that resulted in an extremely satisfying ending, for two of the characters in a sort of "Gift of the Magi" way. By way of self-critique, my GMing didn't flat out stink and the players left feeling entertained, which is the whole point, but it wasn't my best performance (largely due to inadequate preparation) and I'm painfully aware of it.
I think all I really need to do to make this one work is to add a more action-oriented goal for the players once they reach the Mad City, and that should be enough for this particular scenario, but if I run DRYH again I'll definitely need to work out something more thematically functional from the start. I bought a copy of the supplement, "Don't Lose Your Mind", so it's likely that I will eventually do another one.
As usual, I ran one of the closing events of the con, bringing back "A Slice of Blackwoods" for GURPS. I had a full house and more on paper, but only had three players at the table, one of whom hadn't been among the registered. Such is the last slot on a Sunday.
I'm not really sure what the overall attendance was relative to prior years. It seemed to me as though it might have been down a bit, but I freely admit that I was voluntarily confined to an alcove for most of the convention and didn't see much beyond the RPG room. On a more positive note, I had a number of new faces in my games along with the familiar faces, which is a Very Good Thing. I personally had a great time, certainly better than the last year or two. I'll have more on the non-game aspects in further entries.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Grandmother Spider - Season One Conclusion
Last night we played the last session of the Grandmother Spider campaign, using Fluid rules. To be honest, I thought it would be better than it was, though there seems to be some interest among the players in continuing, which suggests that at least some of them enjoyed it.
I have to agree with one of the players who said that the ending actually felt anticlimactic, though I'd have to say it was big enough for a proper ending. It probably felt that way because, while the family at the core of the campaign ended up reunited and essentially victorious by taking unexpected action, they were also betrayed and lost their ship at the very end. It's cool in that there would be a definite place to go with Season Two (try to recover the ship!), which I hadn't been expecting. It might be worth doing, but I definitely need a break.
Why do I need a break from a setting I love and my own system? Because I've been running Firefly-based material at home for too long now and just need a change.
We've now played enough Fluid (thanks, guys!) that it has stabilized, and its strengths and weaknesses are apparent. On the plus side, it's as open and as simple as I wanted it to be. Players love the open and easy character creation, and definitely have control over the story in ways that I don't think they would have in most RPGs. For example, one of the players chose not to have a conflict when I was threatening the player characters with having a Bad Thing happen to the group, allowing it to happen instead of fighting it. I was actually too surprised at that moment to remember to reward him, but it was exactly the sort of thing I've wanted to see players do. On the negative side, the players have to bring ideas of their own to the table, or very little happens and any GM prepared material is used up very quickly. I think it's time for me to experiment with Fluid with some different people to see what happens.
The next campaign on the home front will be an In Nomine campaign primarily using a jazzed up version of the closest city as our setting. I've never gotten tired of In Nomine, and I'm really looking forward to this. We started making characters after the Grandmother Spider session, and Jason has hit it out of the park again, character-wise, playing a Kyriotate of Jordi that spends most of the time as a little old lady and her many cats. The other characters have a lot of potential too, but that one just jumped up at me right away.
And coming up this weekend, I'll have DexCon in New Jersey. I'm just going Saturday/Sunday rather than my usual Friday-Sunday excursion because I couldn't get the time off from work. I'm a little concerned about my level of preparation, but I usually feel that way to some degree, and I have almost a week to get reacquainted with the material I'd written months ago, so I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm more worried about con attendance than anything else, since a lot of people are cutting back on spending and not going to a con would be a way to do that. I'll find out when I get there.
I have to agree with one of the players who said that the ending actually felt anticlimactic, though I'd have to say it was big enough for a proper ending. It probably felt that way because, while the family at the core of the campaign ended up reunited and essentially victorious by taking unexpected action, they were also betrayed and lost their ship at the very end. It's cool in that there would be a definite place to go with Season Two (try to recover the ship!), which I hadn't been expecting. It might be worth doing, but I definitely need a break.
Why do I need a break from a setting I love and my own system? Because I've been running Firefly-based material at home for too long now and just need a change.
We've now played enough Fluid (thanks, guys!) that it has stabilized, and its strengths and weaknesses are apparent. On the plus side, it's as open and as simple as I wanted it to be. Players love the open and easy character creation, and definitely have control over the story in ways that I don't think they would have in most RPGs. For example, one of the players chose not to have a conflict when I was threatening the player characters with having a Bad Thing happen to the group, allowing it to happen instead of fighting it. I was actually too surprised at that moment to remember to reward him, but it was exactly the sort of thing I've wanted to see players do. On the negative side, the players have to bring ideas of their own to the table, or very little happens and any GM prepared material is used up very quickly. I think it's time for me to experiment with Fluid with some different people to see what happens.
The next campaign on the home front will be an In Nomine campaign primarily using a jazzed up version of the closest city as our setting. I've never gotten tired of In Nomine, and I'm really looking forward to this. We started making characters after the Grandmother Spider session, and Jason has hit it out of the park again, character-wise, playing a Kyriotate of Jordi that spends most of the time as a little old lady and her many cats. The other characters have a lot of potential too, but that one just jumped up at me right away.
And coming up this weekend, I'll have DexCon in New Jersey. I'm just going Saturday/Sunday rather than my usual Friday-Sunday excursion because I couldn't get the time off from work. I'm a little concerned about my level of preparation, but I usually feel that way to some degree, and I have almost a week to get reacquainted with the material I'd written months ago, so I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm more worried about con attendance than anything else, since a lot of people are cutting back on spending and not going to a con would be a way to do that. I'll find out when I get there.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Yoga/Meditation Update
I haven't blogged about these in some time, mainly because there's nothing much to say when things are going well. I've truly made them both a habit every day, including weekends. I might have to compress it down to a total of 30 minutes between the two (usually it's about 50 minutes), but it does happen every day.
The results have been encouraging, and the progress steady. I realized last week that I could bend in a way that I couldn't have even at my peak physical condition in my late teens/early 20's, and it happened so gradually that I hadn't even noticed it for a while. I just plain feel better. And the most interesting thing of all is that my back pain, chronic since a stupid injury when I was about 20, actually went away entirely for two days after a yoga class. It was like wearing somebody else's body for a few days. I've been trying to duplicate the combination of poses at home, and while my back feels much better on the whole, I haven't been able to quite get to that same level since then. Another nagging problem from my surgery years ago doesn't seem to be a problem at all anymore. You can't argue with results.
Meditation seems to have had one peculiar side effect for me. It's become more common for me to wake up with some idea that seems to have come out of nowhere. It's not even the solution to a problem I've been thinking about, or anything that seems to relate to anything in particular. It's just suddenly there, so I write it down. Recent examples included an idea for a sitcom that I'm sure I'll never bother to write (even though I think it would actually be entertaining), a better approach to poker that has gotten me over a plateau I'd reached, and a different approach to playing bass guitar, which I've barely touched for several years now. I think these ideas have probably always been rattling around in my head; I've just learned how to pay attention to them. My ability to focus is much better in general, which isn't surprising, since meditation is essentially practicing focus.
Happy stuff is pretty boring blog material, but it's good to be living it!
The results have been encouraging, and the progress steady. I realized last week that I could bend in a way that I couldn't have even at my peak physical condition in my late teens/early 20's, and it happened so gradually that I hadn't even noticed it for a while. I just plain feel better. And the most interesting thing of all is that my back pain, chronic since a stupid injury when I was about 20, actually went away entirely for two days after a yoga class. It was like wearing somebody else's body for a few days. I've been trying to duplicate the combination of poses at home, and while my back feels much better on the whole, I haven't been able to quite get to that same level since then. Another nagging problem from my surgery years ago doesn't seem to be a problem at all anymore. You can't argue with results.
Meditation seems to have had one peculiar side effect for me. It's become more common for me to wake up with some idea that seems to have come out of nowhere. It's not even the solution to a problem I've been thinking about, or anything that seems to relate to anything in particular. It's just suddenly there, so I write it down. Recent examples included an idea for a sitcom that I'm sure I'll never bother to write (even though I think it would actually be entertaining), a better approach to poker that has gotten me over a plateau I'd reached, and a different approach to playing bass guitar, which I've barely touched for several years now. I think these ideas have probably always been rattling around in my head; I've just learned how to pay attention to them. My ability to focus is much better in general, which isn't surprising, since meditation is essentially practicing focus.
Happy stuff is pretty boring blog material, but it's good to be living it!
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Dogville
Very unique movie, but I wouldn't recommend it to just anyone. There is only one (albeit large) set, which represents a small town including all of its buildings. It's not visually dull because there are enough variations in lighting, camera angles, etc. to keep it interesting. Elm Street is clearly labeled in large white letters as Elm Street. Buildings are mostly white outlines drawn on the floor, with the occasional door or prop that is key to that location, and the buildings are labeled as well in case you forget that this is Tom's House, etc. The sparse feel of the set is likely to remind you of a play, and yet, some of the way the story is told could only be done as a movie. It really took me out of the story at first, constantly reminding me that what I was seeing was being staged, but as I became more accustomed to the appearance of it and drawn in by the performances of the actors, I was increasingly less aware of the set until it almost disappeared for me by the end. Interesting effect, and judging by the Netflix reviews, one experienced by a lot of other people as well. This set also allowed unconventional ways of showing things, such as a person going through a horrific experience in a house while children were playing right outside and other people were simply getting on with their lives nearby, for example, and the director didn't need some tricky shot to show this because it was right there in front of you. It might have also been intended to give the viewer a more generic sense of place and/or time.
I don't think this would've worked if the acting hadn't been as solid as it was. Nicole Kidman in particular was stellar, but I don't think there was a weak performance in the bunch, even from the children. You could certainly argue that the acting was rather stylized, but that fit with everything else.
As for the story itself, it requires some serious patience to get past the slow beginning, but the director really did need this set up time to achieve the full power of the ending. I can honestly say I felt it was worth the trip when I got the end. The story begins with a young woman on foot being pursued by someone clearly shooting at her with guns, and she stumbles into a small town. The residents agree to hide her, at least for a short time, in no small part because the local deep thinker convinces them to do it. She begins doing odd jobs for everyone to pay them back, and they even pay her a little cash as well at first. Life is pretty good for all concerned, and she seems to have found a place in the community. Then the police and the FBI turn up a few times, clearly looking for her, and the residents of Dogville continue to hide her, but with less good grace as time goes on. They begin to demand more and more of her, and that's where things really begin to gather momentum, as people start to ask too much of her as the price of keeping her secret, rationalizing all the while that they're not asking any more than their due, even as their actions become more and more horrifying.
I won't spoil what happens from there, as this is the best and most unique part, but I will say that I'll be thinking about what I saw for some time to come. I've read that this movie was intended to be a criticism of the USA, but until the use of David Bowie's "Young Americans" with photographs of poor Americans shown over the end credits, I don't think that it's particularly obvious that American culture specifically is the target. I interpreted it as being about how easily human beings can lose empathy for others when empathy would get in the way of their own needs, how far they'll go to justify their choices even when they know at some level that they're morally wrong, and what happens when that process goes too far. I don't think that's distinctly American, though I do agree that our individuality-obsessed culture may be more prone to it than some others.
This is an enjoyable movie if you're looking for something that's really going to get you thinking about how people treat other people, and even how you yourself may be treating other people in your life. It's powerful art, and I'm glad I personally spent the time with it, but I don't know that a lot of people would choose it as entertainment. It's original and certainly thought-provoking, but recommended only if you're in the mood for fairly heavy material.
I don't think this would've worked if the acting hadn't been as solid as it was. Nicole Kidman in particular was stellar, but I don't think there was a weak performance in the bunch, even from the children. You could certainly argue that the acting was rather stylized, but that fit with everything else.
As for the story itself, it requires some serious patience to get past the slow beginning, but the director really did need this set up time to achieve the full power of the ending. I can honestly say I felt it was worth the trip when I got the end. The story begins with a young woman on foot being pursued by someone clearly shooting at her with guns, and she stumbles into a small town. The residents agree to hide her, at least for a short time, in no small part because the local deep thinker convinces them to do it. She begins doing odd jobs for everyone to pay them back, and they even pay her a little cash as well at first. Life is pretty good for all concerned, and she seems to have found a place in the community. Then the police and the FBI turn up a few times, clearly looking for her, and the residents of Dogville continue to hide her, but with less good grace as time goes on. They begin to demand more and more of her, and that's where things really begin to gather momentum, as people start to ask too much of her as the price of keeping her secret, rationalizing all the while that they're not asking any more than their due, even as their actions become more and more horrifying.
I won't spoil what happens from there, as this is the best and most unique part, but I will say that I'll be thinking about what I saw for some time to come. I've read that this movie was intended to be a criticism of the USA, but until the use of David Bowie's "Young Americans" with photographs of poor Americans shown over the end credits, I don't think that it's particularly obvious that American culture specifically is the target. I interpreted it as being about how easily human beings can lose empathy for others when empathy would get in the way of their own needs, how far they'll go to justify their choices even when they know at some level that they're morally wrong, and what happens when that process goes too far. I don't think that's distinctly American, though I do agree that our individuality-obsessed culture may be more prone to it than some others.
This is an enjoyable movie if you're looking for something that's really going to get you thinking about how people treat other people, and even how you yourself may be treating other people in your life. It's powerful art, and I'm glad I personally spent the time with it, but I don't know that a lot of people would choose it as entertainment. It's original and certainly thought-provoking, but recommended only if you're in the mood for fairly heavy material.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Wipeout/I Survived a Japanese Game Show
I really didn't think I'd end up writing about these when I sat down to watch 'em, but darned if I didn't find myself with something to say afterward.
Wipeout is the same show as Spike's Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, except with virtually all of the humor sucked out of it. I think someone at ABC managed to entirely miss the point about what makes MXE (as they abbreviate it) entertaining. MXE is a wild Japanese game show called "Takeshi's Castle" with hilarious English language overdubbing that is clearly not a direct translation of the original. Wipeout is the same show with none of the over-the-top touch inherent to many Japanese game shows and none of the fun of jokes like reviewing The Most Painful Eliminations of the Day. It's just the obstacle course without the humor. If you think watching people fall off a platform into water repeatedly is funny, this is just the show for you. Not for me, though. I can't believe this made it to network television.
I have to admit that I found "I Survived a Japanese Game Show" genuinely entertaining. It's a strange combination of, yes, a Japanese game show and Survivor: Metropolitan Tokyo. I could do with less of the agonizing over who to put in the elimination challenge and more of the game show brimming over with enthusiasm from everyone from the MC to the audience to that dancing group of Pulp Fiction wannabees that literally carried the loser out of the studio at the end. I think I'd like it even more if at least a few of the Americans would roll with that Japanese spirit and stop thinking so much about winning the grand prize. You can only take dressing up as flies and flinging yourself onto an oversized windshield so seriously, but maybe I'd feel differently if I personally were competing for $250,000.
I really don't care at all who wins, but I'm likely to at least check it out again. I might have to watch this one with the sound off during the reality show parts and turn it back on for the game show parts, 'cause that's where the real fun is.
Wipeout is the same show as Spike's Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, except with virtually all of the humor sucked out of it. I think someone at ABC managed to entirely miss the point about what makes MXE (as they abbreviate it) entertaining. MXE is a wild Japanese game show called "Takeshi's Castle" with hilarious English language overdubbing that is clearly not a direct translation of the original. Wipeout is the same show with none of the over-the-top touch inherent to many Japanese game shows and none of the fun of jokes like reviewing The Most Painful Eliminations of the Day. It's just the obstacle course without the humor. If you think watching people fall off a platform into water repeatedly is funny, this is just the show for you. Not for me, though. I can't believe this made it to network television.
I have to admit that I found "I Survived a Japanese Game Show" genuinely entertaining. It's a strange combination of, yes, a Japanese game show and Survivor: Metropolitan Tokyo. I could do with less of the agonizing over who to put in the elimination challenge and more of the game show brimming over with enthusiasm from everyone from the MC to the audience to that dancing group of Pulp Fiction wannabees that literally carried the loser out of the studio at the end. I think I'd like it even more if at least a few of the Americans would roll with that Japanese spirit and stop thinking so much about winning the grand prize. You can only take dressing up as flies and flinging yourself onto an oversized windshield so seriously, but maybe I'd feel differently if I personally were competing for $250,000.
I really don't care at all who wins, but I'm likely to at least check it out again. I might have to watch this one with the sound off during the reality show parts and turn it back on for the game show parts, 'cause that's where the real fun is.
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