The Funeral and After

I spoke at my father's funeral, which was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I knew it was going to be extremely hard for me, but I felt it was something that he would've wanted, so I kept reminding myself of that to get me through it. One of the positive things about the delay between his passing and the funeral itself was that it gave me time to think through exactly what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it, and the end result was truly exactly what I wanted (and I hope what he would've wanted).

I practiced before the funeral in an attempt to figure out if I could get through it without reaching a point where I couldn't speak, and to try to figure out how I could get through the tough parts. The bottom line is that, as tough as I thought it would be to do this, it was tougher than that, and frankly, I seemed to be breaking down about every four or five words instead of just at a few of the more emotional points. Still, I got through it and I'm glad I did it.

One of my sisters spoke before me with much lighter content, going for the funny reminisce rather than the serious point on the whole, but I have to say that she did it very well and did a better job keeping herself together than I did.

There are still a few things to tend to regarding my father's passing, but most things are done, and I'm ready to get on with doing the things I need to (and want to) do. I'm back to work, which has been especially difficult. The people I work with did a fine job of handling emergencies during my absence, and my boss was very good about allowing me any time I needed, but I've learned that the people I'm dealing with on claims had a tolerance level of only about twenty four hours before they started saying "I've been patient, and I need you to do this for me now." Trying to do seven days' work in four days simply doesn't work, so it wasn't a pleasant week to say the least, even with very sympathetic support from my co-workers. I think I have a shot at catching up by the end of next week, and that'll just have to do.